The Great Percabeth Debate
by RozenHound
Summary: Watch in awe and shock mortals as Hephaestus Reality brings you real interviews with real witnesses and gods as we question them about Percabeth. This is real goss I mean news brought to you live as only reality t.v. can.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Bold** is Narrator, and I apologize for any out of character behavior in advance.

**Percabeth, appropriate or not? Controversy over this pairing has sparked up around the block and it is the duty of Hephaestus Reality to bring you the latest go- I mean news. We're interviewing some of the people closest to and the actual subjects of go- I mean news. Are first interview is with Grover, close friend to the new couple and a satyr searcher for Pan.**

Grover: "Wh- where am I? Who are you? Why am I tied to a chair in a dark room?! I swear, I've never heard of the Street Corner Mini Market, and I certainly know nothing about the mysterious thief who stole only tin foil, apples, and coffee beans! Ok you got me, I'm the thief, but I was really hungry, looking for Pan is a lot of work and.."

**Never mind that right now, tell us about Percy and Annabeth!**

Grover: "O-ok, Pe-Percy is the son of Posiedon and…"

**Not that kind of information, we want to know about their love life, when did they start dating, why, and other trivi- I mean important news!**

Grover: They're dating! When did this happen, and why wasn't I informed?! I mean I realize that I'm searching for Pan, and they're probably busy with the whole war thing, but you think they could take some time out of their busy schedule to Iris-message me or something. I mean if they have time to have dates, then they must have time to form or find a rainbow sometime for Zeus's sake! This is about me searching for Pan isn't it, and leaving them behind because they're humans, isn't it. Satyr prejudice, Satyr predjudice! I'm sorry you guys, but I don't think Pan would be thrilled to wake up and find the race that destroyed his wilderness with a satyr searcher! How many times must I apologize! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

**Looks like its time to move on to our next interview with Clarisse, a fellow camper to the love birds and a daughter of Ares. For all you folks wondering at home, she's single! **

Clarisse: What the-, where the heck am I supposed to be? Camera world? What are you grinnin' at blondie?

**Hello Clarisse, this is Hephaestus Reality interviewing you about the relationship between Percy and Annabeth! What do you think about this latest couple?**

Clarisse: They're dating now!? Figures a loser would go for another loser!

**Um, I'm not quite sure I heard you correctly there Clarisse, do you harbor some sort of resentment towards Percy, or jealously towards Annabeth?**

Clarisse: Of course I resent Percy, in fact I downright hate him! He turned the Ares name into a laughing stock, we Ares cabin used to rule the Camp, and now even the Demeter cabin scoffs at us! Jealousy over what?

**Oh, I see I thought you just might have had just a teeny crush on Percy or something, nothing to big.**

Clarisse: WHAT?! A CRUSH, ON TOILET BOY!? HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST IT AS A POSSIBITLITY! I SHOULD HAVE YOU TURNED INTO A PRAIRIE DOG FOR EVEN THINKING IT!

**Right, of course! Well let's just stuff her in the closet with the satyr and move on! Just kidding, they were both returned to their original places, TEE HEE! Now on to our next interrag- I mean interview with Dionysus AND Chiron, a double interview, YAY! So first off, Dionysus how do you feel their relationship is affecting you?**

Mr. D: Oh goody, we have a new couple. Now if one of them dies I'll have to deal with the other one whining and sulking about the camp.

**That certainly is a… err well interesting take on an old question.**

Mr. D: Thanks, I pride myself in my originality.

**So Chiron, how is the relationship being treated at the Camp? Every one is accepting it well I hope?**

Chiron: Well I haven't been really keeping track really, you see I wasn't quite fully aware of this turn of events, but everybody has been behaving regularly. As regularly as preparing for war is handled that is.

**Excellent, it is quite good to know that they are being treated well. Dionysus how would you respond to Chiron's question and Chiron vice versa?**

Mr. D: Probably around the same thing, except with more sarcasm and less love.

Chiron: As far as I've observed the wavelengths of the relationship hasn't reached my tranquil inner pool of peace.

**Thank you both for joining me and responding so uniquely to the questions, our guards will now have you join our previous guests. Well looks like it's time for a commercial break, but don't change the channel now Olympians, we'll be back with more insipid go- I mean shocking news after a few short messages from our sponsors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, if you missed the beginning intro because you were to lazy to Tivo it, this is Hephaestus Reality bringing you the real opinions of the real celebrities! Today were asking the controversial question of Percabeth to some of the cutest twelve year olds in the world, Artemis and the Hunters!**

Thalia: You have 3 words to convince not to shock you into oblivion, choose them wisely!

**You're on TV! **

Thalia: Oh, that 'ill does. Why am I on TV? You have six words this time!

**We want to know about Percabeth!**

Thalia: Fine, looks like you have nine words to tell me what Percabeth is, like is it some of tooth paste you want to sell me or do a commercial for. Hurry up, I'm a busy girl, it's not like I'll have the rest of my life to hunt monsters with Artemis or something! Well I will, but that's beside the point.

**Percabeth is Annabeth's and Percy's relationship, their dating life.**

Thalia: They finally got together! Praise Zeus, they finally got together. I didn't know how much I could take their flirt, avoid, anger, flirt, avoid, anger maneuver, and I only see them once a month! Wait why they didn't tell me right away! What jerks, how they could be so reckless as to flaunt their relationship on TV, and not except Luke to go after one of them as a trap for the other. This is horrible! Excuse me; I've got to got knock some sense back in their little heads!

**Right, why don't you just take the back exit in through the magic and weather proof closet, and don't forget to lock the door as you enter! We don't want anyone getting out, I mean getting out with our err mops. Those mops need to stay where they are you know, TEE HEE! Looks like it's time to move on to the next lovely conversation Artemis of the Hunters.**

Artemis: Excuse me, but where did the forest go? It would be so nice if you could send us back before Luke gets the exceedingly rare and strong creature on his side. That is if you don't mind being turned into a chicken or armadillo.

**No worries, this room is the same as the closet. Other wise we would probably get sued for liability issues. You're pretty grumpy for somebody who travels with a band of merry men, robbing the rich and giving to the needy and all that jazz.**

Artemis: That's Robin Hood; I'm Artemis goddess of the hunt and moon. Not to mention I certainly don't travel with a band of _men_. Can't you just give me the interview question so I can answer it and leave already?

**Of course, of course. So Artemis what do you think of Percabeth, Annabeth's and Percy's new love!**

Artemis: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! We lost yet another future warrior to the ranks of boys and men. Percy is okay for a guy and all, but Annabeth could have been a Hunter, she was so tactical. I knew I should have pushed harder for that mandatory drafting bill for the Hunters! Why didn't Thalia tell me, do you think she might be in a relationship too? I really have to go, bye!

**Take the back exit right over there! Don't mind the banging noise that's just the wind, the North wind to be exact. He really wants to be on TV, so he can** **become an actor, and make enough money to buy a new thermos to live in. Too bad he's terrible at acting. Don't forget to lock the door on your way out so he doesn't get in. Our next hosta- I mean guest is Tyson, a Cyclops half-brother to Percy.**

Tyson: Where'd forges go? Where's I? What d'ya wants?

**Hello Tyson, your being interrog- I mean interviewed by Hephaestus Reality, would you mind telling us about how you feel about Percabeth?**

Tyson: The boss asked you to do this? What is Percabeth?

**Um no, the Hephaestus part comes from the fact that he made the cameras, so we named the station after him, which if you think about it is pretty weird. Shouldn't this station be named after the founder, Aphrodite? Oh well, Percabeth is the whole romance between Percy and Annabeth. Geez, I wonder if they told anyone about it?!**

Tyson: Percy is dating Annabeth!? I hope they're both happy, very very happy!

**Awww, how sweet, thought it does kind of prove the whole Percabeth was a secret theory. Well while we go find a bigger closet, enjoy these messages from our sponsors! Don't change the channel though, up next is Poseidon and Athena, for extra fun we'll be interviewing them on the issue together! We'll also be talking to Apollo and Hermes!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: My names not RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

**Hello if you for some reason asleep for the first two intros, this Hephaestus Reality interviewing Athena and Poseidon about the relationship of their two lovely children, Annabeth and Percy. So Athena what are your thoughts right now?**

Athena: I am roped chair and sitting next to an ignoramus who tried to solidify his bonds with the citizens of Athens by giving them a spring of saltwater, not fresh water.

Poseidon: WHAT!? AT LEAST MY GIFT WAS PRETTY, UNLIKE YOUR STUPID TREE! THEY PROBABLY JUST PRETENDED TO LIKE SO THEY WOULDN'T GET TURNED TO SPIDERS!

Athena: The olive was both a functional and aesthetic present, it was worthy of their praise and admiration. Besides I only turned someone into a spider once; and a gorgon three times as well if you remember, Poseidon.

Poseidon: OH, QUIT BEING SO FULL OF YOUR SELF! I DOUBT YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AESTHETIC MEANS. I don't really care about the gorgons, I was kind of sick of Medusa anyways.

Athena: Aesthetic is a something valued for artistic taste. WHAT A PIG! I OUGHTA TELL ARTEMIS WHAT YOU JUST SAID! Wait, did you just hear someone shout I heard?

**Well looks like we should have invested in sound proof rooms as well, TEE HEE!**

**So distracting you from the current situation of the "ghost" voice, what do you think of the fact that your daughter, Annabeth is dating his son, Percy? **

Athena: WHAT!? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY WISEST DAUGHTER IS DATING THAT RECKLESS, FOOLHARDY SON OF THE SEA! POSEIDON, WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM TO BRAINWASH MY DAUGHTER! ANSWER ME YOU WORTHLESS DRUNKEN SAILOR OF A MAN!

Poseidon: YOU HAUGHTY LITTLE KNOW-IT-ALL, YOU THINK I DID THIS! YOU THINK I WANTED THIS. WHY COULDN'T HE GO FOR A PRETTY GIRL LIKE A NORMAL BOY!

Athena: WHO ELSE WOULD DO THIS, YOUR ONE OF MY ONLY ENEMIES, AND MY ANNABETH IS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Poseidon: BEATIFUL FOR A TUNA, OR AT LEAST THAT WILL BE WHAT IT'LL BE WHEN I'M DONE WITH HER!

Athena: NOT IF I GET TO YOUR SON FIRST. GOOD LUCK KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM ZEUS' DOMAIN WHEN HE'S A BIRD!

**Well I guess that ends their interview, but I'm afraid they will have to join Artemis for a while, just until we're done interviewing their latest victims. Up next is Apollo. **

Apollo: Hello sweetheart, I usually am more concerned about being tied to a chair, but if you stick around I'll make an exception.

**Awww thanks!** **So how do feel about Percabeth, do you think Percy and Annabeth make a cute couple?**

Apollo: Percy and Annabeth,

I think they match very well,

Apollo approves,

**Oh, what a, err, nice haiku. Well that's the entire interview we need from you, why don't you go in the closet over there, my phone numbers in there, TEE HEE! Hermes is up next, hopefully he doesn't like haikus as much as Apollo does.**

Hermes: Oh crap, I finally got caught. If you're looking for the jewels, I alreadysold them at the Egyptian black market, HA HA!

**Actually we just wanted to interview you about Percabeth, you know that Percy and Annabeth are dating, right?**

Hermes: He he, that earlier part was just a joke, you know. Um, of course I knew about Annabeth and Percy, that's old news.

**I highly doubt that you're the only one Percy and Annabeth told about their relationship. You know for the god of lying you suck at it.**

Hermes: Two things: #1 I'm the god of thievery, not lying: #2 you don't have to be good at the thing you're the god of, have you ever heard Apollo sing in the shower? It might not have been so bad if it wasn't the egg song however

**Well that's good to know, but it does kind of bring up the question of why you were in Apollo's house while he was showering… **

Hermes: I actually snuck in; Apollo has all the coolest stuff. Not to mention all you have to do is make some kind of instrument up and he'll give anything for it, even cows.

**Right, before you leave would you mind emptying your pockets to our security guards, they'll show you where to go from there. Well that's all for now, time for a commercial bre- Oh hey, lucky you it seems we have more victim- I mean interviewees. Apparently they were trying to break in for some reason please welcome the captives, Luke and Circe!**

Luke: Oh no! That email wasn't a friendly suggestion from a fellow evil doer, it was a trap! Curse you FanOfFics, by the name the name of Kronos, Titan Lord, curse you!

**Hello Circe and Luke, it's great to have you on the show, although it's kind of weird that Luke isn't a guinea pig yet.**

Circe: I'll do anything to get that Percy Jackson and Annabeth, even if it means working with the son of my enemy, Hermes. Did someone just shout "I'm your enemy now?"?

**Looks like the Phantom voice strikes again, and mysteriously has changed genders.**

Luke: Actually it sounds like there's a lot of noise coming from that closet, what do you have in their, a satyr, 2 half-bloods, a pair of twin Greek gods, a pair of mortal enemies, a pair of camp directors, a Cyclops, and a mortal enemy who doesn't return the feelings?

Circe: Wow that was an oddly specific description, what made you think those were in there?

Luke: I used my x-ray vision that the Lord Kronos granted me to see through the door.

**Oh, well there is a reasonable explanation for that you see they're just-**

Luke: Don't worry, I hate or have betrayed every one in there at least once. It's cool with me if you lock them up.

**Why thank you, when I'm done with the interview, we can discuss the reason your powers of x-ray worked when no one else's did, and then you can go in the closet to beat up those locked in it if you want, just don't forget to lock the door on your way in, okay? The question I'll be asking you is simple. How do you feel about the fact that Percy and Annabeth are dating?**

Luke: What!? If they're dating, are invasion is ruined, how will we use Annabeth's crush on me as an advantage now!?

Circe: Well I got to go now, if Kronos is rising to power again call me, kay?

Luke: It doesn't even make sense though, I was sure Percy and Thalia would end up together! It's just so unexpected like my father and Artemis suddenly going out! It's not like this is some book by someone named Rick who has been giving not so subtle hints about it through the entire series! I gotta go too!

**The therapist's office is through the closet you two if you want to go whine to her. You should seriously consider going Luke, a book by some guy named Rick? Honestly, that's real crazy people material. Time for the real commercial breaks now, stay tuned cause up next is Aphrodite, Percy, and Annabeth all at the same time! **

AN: Sorry, too many people to thank personally, so I'll just thank you all for reviewing. You're welcome FanofFics, you're welcome. That disclaimer goes for all of the chapters. You can find the egg song by googling I love eggs and the egg song flash should come up. I didn't write or make the song, I don't even like, but my brother ran in and started singing it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello and welcome back to our final segment of Percabeth: Appropriate or not brought to you by Iris, when you need to talk to someone somewhere over the rainbow. I'm your host, nameless half-blood number 23, and this is Hephaestus Reality! We're at the moment you've all been waiting for, so please welcome Percy, Annabeth, and Aphrodite.**

Percy: WHO ARE YOU? WHERE AM I?

Annabeth: Calm down Seaweed Brain, and as a daughter of Athena, I demand you tell me where we are!

Aphrodite: Hi, it's so nice to meet you. Oh my, is that a camera, TEE HEE?!

**Calm down you two, you're just on Hephaestus Reality! Yes Aphrodite,that is a camera Sweetheart, please refrain from touching it however.**

Percy: Hephaestus Reality, what's that?

Annabeth: Hephaestus Reality is a company that provides reality TV entertainment for the gods of Olympus.

Aphrodite: It's also the company that has been filming your quests since you left Camp Half-blood.

Percy: WE WERE BEING FILMED THE WHOLE TIME!? WHAT ABOUT WHEN WE WERE IN THE RESTROOM, OR CHANGING!?

Annabeth: Calm down Percy, I'm surprised you didn't notice the cameras everywhere. Honestly what did you think, the gods just had enough time to time to lie around and watch you? Of course not, they just Tivo it and watch it when they have time.

Aphrodite: Yeah, and we usually fast forward during the boring parts, except of course the minor gods, goddesses, naiads, and nymphs that have a crush on you two.

**Well as fascinating this conversation is lets cut to the chase. Have you two noticed any changes since you started going out, Percy and Annabeth.**

Percy and Annabeth: WHAT?!?!

Aphrodite: Oh look, they're so close they can talk together! How adorable, oh to be young and in love again I'd give anything!

Annabeth: WE'RE NOT DATING! That's like if Hermes and Artemis going out or something equally crazy.

Percy: Yeah, do I look that crazy or desperate!? 

Annabeth: Excuse me!? What is that supposed to meanPerseus!?

Percy: It's just that sometimes you're just little bossy, or know-it-ally.

Annabeth: Better that then foolish and impulsive, unlike _some_ people!

Percy: I'm foolish, who almost died just because she wanted to her the Sirens!?

Annabeth: A perfect example, who forgot to disarm me?!

Aphrodite: Oh no it's a lovers quarrel!

Annabeth: Keep out of it you blonde hussy!

**Um, I think it's time to switch to a commercial break right about now.**

Thalia: NOT SO FAST! YOU GUYS AREN'T GETTING OFF SO EASY!

5 hours later…

Hermes: Well now that the crew members are all animals, the anti-magic spell is off the studio, the studio is burned down, and the conflict is resolved with minimal writing, Artemis and I have an announcement to make.

Artemis: We're going out!

Annabeth: You can pick me up around eight.

Percy: Okay.

Athena and Poseidon: NOT IF WE HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!

FIN

Tuna Annabeth: I think this would be a lot less awkward if you didn't try to eat me.

Pelican Percy: Or if Clarisse would quit calling me P.P.

FIN 2


End file.
